The average age of mothers has increased by almost three years, according to USA Today.
Many aging parents resist leaving their homes, even when they need more care. As a family member, it’s painful to watch a loved one struggle with day-to-day tasks or live in unsafe conditions.
Such a transition is never easy, even in the wonderful city of New Orleans, but there are ways to approach the conversation with care and compassion. Keep reading to learn about moving mom to assisted living against her will.
Understanding Why Many Seniors Resist Assisted Living
Many seniors fear moving to an assisted living community because they believe it means giving up their independence. They may feel that moving signifies losing control over their:
- Lives
- Routines
- Personal choices
Others may be concerned about loneliness, believing they’ll be isolated from family and friends.
Health concerns also play a role in their resistance. Some aging parents do not realize how much assistance they need, especially if they have cognitive decline or mobility issues.
In other cases, seniors fear becoming a burden on their families and may not want their loved ones to feel responsible for making tough decisions about their care.
Understanding these concerns is the first step in helping parents transition to a safer and more supportive environment. Instead of dismissing their fears, it’s vital to acknowledge them and find ways to reassure your mother that she will still have choices, social connections, and a comfortable home.
Family Discussions About Senior Care
Talking to aging parents about moving to assisted living requires patience, empathy, and careful planning. These conversations should not be rushed or approached during a time of stress. It’s best to start the discussion early, long before a crisis forces an urgent decision.
Begin by choosing a calm and quiet setting where you can talk without distractions. Express your concerns gently and honestly, making it clear that your goal is to ensure her safety and well-being.
Instead of telling her what she needs to do, ask questions that invite her to share her thoughts. Asking, “How are you feeling about living alone?” or “What would make daily life easier for you?” can open the door to a meaningful conversation.
It is also helpful to involve other family members in these discussions. When multiple loved ones express their concerns with kindness, it reinforces the message that this decision is being made out of love and not control. The goal is to work together toward the best senior care decisions, not to force a decision she does not agree with.
Addressing Assisted Living Resistance
Even when you approach the conversation with care, your mother may still resist the idea of moving. It is common for seniors to push back with objections, and having thoughtful responses ready can help ease their worries.
If your mother insists she does not need help, gently remind her of any recent challenges she has faced, such as falls, difficulty preparing meals, or forgetting important tasks. Instead of focusing on what she cannot do, emphasize how an assisted living community can provide support while allowing her to maintain independence in a safe environment.
If she says she doesn’t want to leave her home, acknowledge her feelings and reassure her that assisted living can feel like home, too. Let her know that she can bring her favorite furniture, decorations, and personal items to make her new space familiar and comforting. If she worries about loneliness, explain that communities offer social activities, outings, and opportunities to make new friends.
Concerns about cost are also common. If your mother believes assisted living is too expensive, take the time to compare the costs of living at home with hiring outside care versus moving to a supportive community. Often, families find that assisted living provides better care and social opportunities.
Making the Transition as Smooth as Possible
Once your mother agrees to move, taking steps to make the transition easier can help her feel more comfortable. One way to do this is by involving her in decisions as much as possible. If she can visit the community beforehand, meet some of the staff, and see what daily life is like, it may ease her anxiety about the change.
Once she moves in, visiting often and encouraging other family members to do the same will help her adjust. Seeing familiar faces can ease the transition and reassure her that she isn’t being abandoned.
Encouraging your mother to get involved in social activities within the community is another key step. Many communities offer varied programs that promote engagement and connection. Suggest she try out a few activities, such as:
- Group exercises
- Art classes
- Social gatherings
When Legal Action May Be Necessary
If your mother has significant cognitive decline, dementia, or serious health issues, legal steps may need to be considered. This is not an easy path, and it should only be explored when all other options have been exhausted.
A medical evaluation can help determine whether your mother is still able to make safe decisions for herself. If she is not, you may need to take legal steps such as obtaining power of attorney or guardianship. Such measures should only be taken if absolutely necessary, and it’s best to consult with an attorney to understand the legal process.
Choosing the Perfect Assisted Living Community
SummerHouse Vista Shores is an excellent option for seniors who need extra support while maintaining their independence. They can enjoy the following:
- Compassionate staff
- Engaging activities
- Comfortable living spaces
Visiting the community in person, meeting the staff, and asking questions can help ensure it is the right fit for your mother’s needs.
Moving Mom to Assisted Living Against Her Will Is a Huge Decision
While moving mom to assisted living against her will isn’t easy, it’s sometimes the best option for her well-being.
SummerHouse Vista Shores offers the best-assisted living and memory care in New Orleans, LA. Our residents appreciate the high-end amenities, the peaceful surroundings, and the custom care we provide. Best of all, there’s a wonderful social calendar where residents can bond over books, movies, games, and more.
Don’t wait to schedule a lovely tour of SummerHouse Vista Shores today.
